Well hey, if you ever need someone to just disappear in a completely ninja-like and without-a-bye-or-leave type way, you know just who to call don't you? I still don't have time to come back to Lj in any full-time way, but a recent dose of crack from my very own Anonymouse Santa has inspired me to come back for Christmas and briefly spread some festive whumping joy. Because Christmas is populated by all kinds of pointy stab-worthy things, like icicles, reindeer antlers and christmas-tree stars... it would really be a pity to waste them. >:D

So, i am taking requests for:

~ Festive Whumpfic Gifts! ~
I know, most boring title ever. I couldn't think of anything witty. This doesn't bode well for the fics does it? Anyway - the idea is (and i'm sure a few of you may be doing this on your lj's too) that everyone on my Friendslist can request a Festive Whumpfic from me, in any fandom you like (i can write most anything, but i'll let you know if i *seriously* don't think i can write the one you choose, and you can choose again). Fics will likely be tiny snapshots of pain, anything from a paragraph to a page long, and those fandoms i don't know will likely be smaller fics. Feel free to check with me first as to whether i know a fandom, if you want a slightly longer fic.

Fics will be posted in a dedicated entry on Christmas day, or i can post earlier upon request if you're not allowed to access the net on that day.

Fics will be whump-focused, there will be much blood-spitting, limb crunching, teeth-gritting goodness, and all characters will be left thoroughly battered. If you want to you can specify details such as the character you want whumped, type of injury, characters involved in comforting... whatever you like.

Comment in this post with your requests! I'll take requests up to the end of the 23rd Dec.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whee, whumpfic! I'm all excited at the prospect now (and a little scared that i either won't be able to write anything, or they'll be rubbish when i do). Quick, a hasty update on what's been happening to me: Work is going very well, i've been doing so good this year that my boss is getting me managerial training early in 2008 and making me SEO Manager! Awesome! My Psych course for this year is over, i got my results last week and to my surprise i got a Distinction again. 94% in my exam! Crikey. Next year is Biological Psychology and it starts February. I have a personal trainer (how incredibly posh of me, but it's surprisingly affordable) who is helping me build muscles (hee), and i now work out four times a week. The pigtails necessary for chest-presses and lycra necessary for sweat wick-age make me look like a pr0ny schoolgirl. Ahwells. My finances are doing really well, i've just signed up for a pension, am paying off my student debt as fast as i can and building an emergency fund. Next year i have to move out, and will probably have to settle for a house-share in beautiful Budleigh Salterton.

Ttoo many new fandoms to cover, but getting my attention at the moment are Blood Ties, Moonlight, and The Streets of San Francisco, for which i have launched a fansite: www.thestreetsofsanfrancisco.net (omg steve keller, how are you so hot?)

Right, this is a post-and-run. I really hope you are all doing well, i've been thinking about you all even though i've not been here. If there's anything that's happened that you want me to share in, please comment or link me to a post you want me to read - sorry to ask you to do that, but it's the best i can do for now!

::gallops off with limbs-a-flailing::

Tags: whumpfic, whumping

So, the play. I went to London to see Val Kilmer in The Postman Always Calls Twice at The Playhouse. I really enjoyed it, for plenty of different reasons. Some respectable reasons, some reasons you wouldn't share with your grandma. Not that i know what you talk to your grandma about... she might be a dirty grandma. How the hell would i know? On a respectable note, Val's acting was wonderful as usual, instead of acting he simply took on the character and walked onto the stage doing what that character would do. The charaterisations were quite good too, the summaries say Val's character Frank is the murderous one, but it is plainly the other way around. The dynamic of the couple (they were having an affair) were that of an adolescent and lustful boy and a (unknowingly) manipulative mother figure.
On an unrespectable note, i had a hard time not throwing myself over the balcony into his arms when, halfway through the play, his character got well and truly whumped. Limping for 50% of the play... and occassionally speaking his lines while staring right into my eyes... i sincerely have never been closer to fangirl behaviour than i was during that play. There was also the fantastically shocking love scene. He threw himself at her, ripped her shirt open while she screamed for him to stop, dumped her on the floor and shoved his face in her crotch whilst they were scooting bodily across the stage. You could hear him heaving great big gulping breaths down there! I don't think i've seen a sex scene quite as hilarious. I'm surprised they didn't have stunt doubles doing it, they were all over the place. It was great.
I also really enjoyed spending time with nomorefrostbite who managed to convert me to Alias Sark-love in one night. Holy nuts, that's fast work.

Anyhow, i could talk on the trip and play for ages, but i don't really feel like it. Instead, i shall post photos from the last week or so. I found the frog last night, when i suddenly realised i had forgotten to topup the pond and discovered that i have apparantly killed the one plant my parents left in my care. Bollollocks.

( the frogs and the bees (that's confused sexuality for you) )
I'm tanned and my skin smells of the sun, i've spent all day in the garden answering comments and emails on my laptop, and now i'm off to light the fire and think about dinner (i'm not actually going to do anything about it, i'll just think about it for a bit and then go to bed).
grr.

Tags: photography, theatre, val kilmer, whumping
feeling: pleasantly tired
hearing: poe - haunted

Oh god, i give up. I really do. They keep coming - every other day i find a new series. I check out images, read a few scripts, realise i am going be hopelessly addicted and order all the dvd sets using my horribly abused credit card and HAVE NO MONEY LEFT EVER. oiy. So now it's 'Hunter'. Lord save me. Sometimes i wish the eighties had never happened. Would solve all my problems in one fell swoop, seeing as i'd never be born in the first place. Make the dvds stop... they burn...
And, why yes, i did just buy Alias Season 2 purely because it was on sale and i heard there was some Vaughn-whumping. No i haven't seen the show before, or have any clue whether i will like it. Shaddup.
..............
I also bought Road House (plot = here's this really stand-up guy who doesn't rise to the bait and wouldn't hurt a soul and here are some bad guys, and.. oh... he just killed them all! yay? ::is confused::) and as you can see capped just about every scene in the damn film for Swayze deliciousness, Fight Club, and Executive Decision - because Kurt was looking all edible on the front cover and i just couldn't help myself. All these unwatched dvds, they dance around my head as i sleep they do, mocking me with bank-balance figures...
Cromwell popped up in Road House and growled to Swayze's character (see, i was devoting so much attention to his pecs i can't even remember his characters name) "I used to fuck guys like you in prison!" and then Swayze's character ripped his throat out. So hah.
Also, damnit the loneliness got too much and i am going to norway to see my best friend for a weeks holiday! byebye savings, hello sanity. ::grins ear to ear::
grrrrwheeeee! 

<---- now there's a righteous anger.

( icons from these graphics... )

Tags: graphics, patrick swayze, whumping
feeling: why is there not an 'obsessed' theme??
hearing: tears for fears

Falling over when roller blading stings, and i am not talking physically here. The mortification lasted a whole morning, despite my being able to sheepishly laugh it off at the time. I had convinced myself that skating to work when i am not the best skater ever is a good lesson in humility, but i think i've had enough now. No, honestly. Felled by a lamp-post, that's really quite humiliating enough for me.
::sulks::
But hurt pride aside, i shall persevere! I shall continue to throw myself recklessly about in public, headphones securely in and music blotting out the grotesque population of Exmouth as i career down the knobbly streets (there are goddamned blind-crossings everywhere) and grin stupidly every time i have to cartwheel my arms to stay upright. Meanwhile, after work, in my significantly quieter street, i shall practice jumping, going backwards, and parallel crossovers (sounds a bit like some kind of delicious pastry).

Bruised as i have been, it's been a good week for whump tv this week, and i've been spoiled by several shows recently. junkfoodmonkey sent me Sharpe videos a-plenty, in which Sean Bean's character was shot, captured, beaten, knifed, hung, stripped of rank, accused of murder, and his wife was killed - all while the lovely Irish Harper continued to coddle him and be big, meaty and cute. Can't get better than that little lot really. Then there was Grave Danger, the chilling finale ep of this CSI season that i managed to get from blessed LimeWire. It was an excellent whumper, and the actor that plays Nick constantly impresses me with his stunning acting skills. His distress was palpable, i'm so glad they chose him for this episode. Lastly there was The Mummy Returns, in which the gorgeous Oded got a little bashed about in a london-bus, and when asked if he was okay he answered with a sweet smile, "this.. was my first bus ride." A.dor.ab.le.

Now, because we went swimming in the ocean yesterday and my mums wedding ring fell off, me and dad are going down to the beach with a borrowed metal detector to unearth the treasure of the West Country, oohARGH!mehearties. Then i shall return and roll around gleefully in the pile of dvds that just arrived from Amazon, including Moonlighting (featuring a much yummy Bruce Willis), Demon Under Glass (featuring a much yummy Garrett Maggart) and Tremors (featuring a much yummy..er.. not featuring anyone much yummy, but coming highly recommended by my evil_little_doggy)

Sleep tonight? I laugh in the face of sleep.  ::spits::

Tags: oded fehr, skating, whumping
feeling: crazy
hearing: the ocean still echoing in my ears