My body might be here at work, but my brain is back home staring at my progressing download of Spn's final episode, watching that bar creeeep across the screen. Deeeeeean! Saaaaaam! Impaaaaaaaala! ::wails and gnashes teeth::

So to get us through this traumatic, trialling time, let's have to recent comments from my workplace (i have better ones, but they're all at home. maybe i'll share them later after work, if i'm still waiting for the download):

Me: "I need brain implants so i can control my computer using my mind."
Phil: "You need what?"
Me: "Brain implants."
Phil: "I thought you said something about needing pants."
Me: "Yes, i need a brain in pants."
Phil: "So basically, you need a man?"

Nigel: "...maybe it's time to get our diaries together..."
Phil: "What good will getting their diaries together do?"
Me: "Well maybe they'll..."
Phil: "...mate? And have a little notebook."

Mark: "Dave, when you have 5 minutes, can i have 7 to 10 minutes to talk about something?"
Me: "You know, that's really not going to work."

[discussing finding a worker part-time work]
Dave: "I'm sure you could pick up an 18 year old..."
Nigel: "I assure you, i've tried, and i can't."
Dave: "Why does it always come out WRONG!?"

Me: "My chair sounds like a duck!"

I won't share the conversation me and Phil had about singing leopardskin thongs. Because, disturbing. Oh, and we got a baby Grand Piano last night. Hee. I can play Chitty Chitty Bang Bang already, which my coworker this morning informed me was about blokes in the army getting sex. I think i'll sing it with more gusto now.

Well, i came back to a fully downloaded Spn ep22, only to find it was a bastard of a duff file planted by some fuck-ass jackfucks who have nothing better to do than make people irritated enough to kill them ded. Don't worry, i haven't actually killed anyone. I don't know where they live.

So, while i start again with the downloading, we need some more quotes from my work:

Me: "I can't barter, I get guilty. Sometimes if they're friendly i want to pay them more. It goes the other way. 'Here, have a tip'."
Phil: "Don't eat yellow snow."
Me: "Oh ha ha. We don't get snow here, that's not even useful. You could at least make it something useful. Like..."
Phil: "...?"
Me: "... i can't think of anything."
Phil: "Don't look a gift horse in the mouse. In the mouse??"
Me: "Don't look a gift horse in the mouse!?"
Phil: "It's a strange one i know."
Me: "Is it because the gift horses don't like you looking at their mice? Stop staring at my mouse."
Phil: "That's my mouse..."
Me: "...get your own."

phil: "You're brain is as...erm..."
me: "I thought you were going to say something like 'your brain is as squishy as the rest of you', or something."
phil: "Yes, well, i don't know, i've not squished you recently."
me: "Ahaha, "i've not squished you recently.."."
phil: "I think you'd have noticed... I'd have to do it secretly. Yes, I waited 'til you were asleep on the sofa sometime and then came up and squished you."
mark: "Isn't that illegal?"

Tags: quotes
feeling: frustrated
hearing: Baby Grand Piano downstairs!